I’ve decided to do this post as a response to @jasonrichards on my Facebook page. He reminded me how much I love dirty fries 😂 (thankyou!)

This is the standard recipe I use though I’ve got a few variations I’ll post at later dates. I’ll also get some pictures/gifs up when I get round to making some.

It’s got a couple of different elements and they take about an hour to make, so let’s get to it!

Ingredients (makes as many as you can eat)

For the fries

• Potatoes, as many as you think you can eat
• Garlic
• Cumin
• Smoked paprika
• Oil, to deep fry (1-2 litres)
• Salt and pepper

For the onion béchamel

• 50-100g butter
• 50-100g plain flour
• 300-500ml milk
• 1 medium onion
• 3-4 cloves
• 2-3 bay leaves
• 2 whole peppercorns
• Salt and pepper
• Double cream (optional)

For the dutty bit

• Bacon, sliced or diced, or bacon lardons
• Doritos (flavour of your preference) or tortilla crisps
• Grated mozzarella/cheddar mix
• Jalapeños
• Greek yoghurt
• Fresh mint / dried mint
• White wine vinegar or apple cider vinegar (I prefer apple cider vinegar)
• Salt and pepper

Equipment

• Knife
• Chopping board
• 2/3 saucepans/cooking pots, or 1 to wash and reuse. 1 to boil potatoes, 1 to deep fry potatoes and 1 to make béchamel.
• Measuring jug
• Microwave, or hob
• Roasting tray/Pyrex dish, a baking tray will work but ideally you want something with raised edges
• Oven

Prep (20-30 minutes)

First we need to get the béchamel made (5-10 minutes)

1. You’ll notice the ingredients are fairly rough here, that’s because (as with most cooking) a lot of it is down to personal preference. So the more butter you use the richer your sauce will be, and the more flour you use the thicker the sauce will be. However, if you want to use more flour you need to add more butter accordingly otherwise your béchamel might taste a bit off.
2. If you’ve got a microwave use a measuring jug here, if you’ve only got a job then use a saucepan instead, put the milk in the jug/pan and slice the onion, add this to the milk with the cloves, peppercorns, bay leaves and a little salt. Microwave on medium to infuse the flavours into the milk, a couple of minutes, just be sure to keep an eye on it so the milk doesn’t boil over.
3. Melt the butter in a pan, add flour and mix well, if you sieve it first it mixes in easier, you want to get a soft peanut butter consistency, it should just come together like a dough.
4. Cook on a medium heat for a few minutes while stirring constantly to cook the flour out.
5. If the milk has cooled down warm it up again, pour through a sieve into a measuring jug to remove the bits.
6. Turn the heat up to high/full and start to add a little milk at a time (50-100ml) while stirring constantly, be sure to get round all edges at the bottom of the pan.
7. Keep adding milk until you get a consistency you’re happy with, add more milk if you have to, but it should be nice and thick, a lot more than a normal sauce.
8. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Next we need to get the fries on the go (15-20 minutes)

1. If you want to peel the potatoes then peel them but it’s not essential (unless the potatoes are dirty, literally) and cut them into chips to the size of your liking. Put the chips in a pan.
2. Again I haven’t put precise measurements for ingredients here because again, a lot of cooking is to personal preference but I’ll put what I use as a guideline.
3. Add cumin (3-4 tbsp) and smoked paprika (1-2 tbsp) to the pan.
4. Add crushed garlic gloves to the pan, skin still on (you can remove it if you want but it’s all flavour) I usually use a whole bulb of garlic.
5. Add salt then fill the pan with water so it’s filled about 1cm above the chips.
6. As you put the potatoes on to boil, fill a pan with the oil and put on a high heat. Put a lid on the potatoes and when they start to boil reduce the heat to medium-high and remove the lid.
7. You want to try and get them when they’re nice and soft (near mash) but still strong enough to hold their shape, this depends a lot on the size you’ve cut them but 5 minutes is usually enough. They should at least be a paler colour and not look dense.
8. Remove from the water with a slotted spoon/spider onto kitchen towel to dry. Remove any garlic skins, I like to leave the garlic cloves in but that’s up to you.

Cooking (30-40 minutes)

1. Heat the oven to about 180°c (fan)
2. Now we’ve got the dirty fries and béchamel, it’s time to make it dutty 😎 start by heating some oil in a pan and start to fry the bacon.
3. Slice the jalapeños and add to the bacon, when all cooked cover the chips with the chillis and bacon.
4. Next crush the Doritos/tortilla chips and sprinkle on top.
5. Cover the whole thing with the béchamel and grated cheese and cook for 20-30 minutes.
6. While it’s cooking chop the fresh mint and mix with the yoghurt, vinegar and salt/pepper.
7. When the fries are ready, top with the yoghurt.
8. Enjoy some filth on a plate.